When Black Friday Comes...

Hello dear reader(s), it's your favorite Joo again.

Surprise - I found something to bitch about.

Black Friday sucks. People camping out overnight and trampling over others just to save a couple of bucks. Funny how it comes after a day of thanks. I'm all for saving a dollar (ok I'm all for saving a lot of dollars) but at what expense? Is it worth getting up that early and/or running around a store like a lunatic?

On the flip side, Small Business Saturday is something I can totally get behind. People who are able to maintain a small business or have the balls to start one never cease to amaze me.

Why should we be encouraged to shop at a small business one day out of the year? It should be a yearly thing. Get out there and support these people who need it a lot more than Starbucks.

PS: Thanks for all the birthday wishes. It was very hard waiting for a call I knew wasn't going to come. Thank you to my family and friends for being awesome.

Mass Hysteria!

Look at this picture. It makes me want to punch something.

That's silver-spooned Mets COO Jeff Wilpon shaking hands with future HOF and forever Mets killer Chipper Jones while admiring a painting that details all the exploits Jones had against Wilpon's Mets in his career.

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

“The body of work ... is very impressive,” Wilpon told Jones. “Unfortunately, you’ve left a lot of Met fans’ hearts broken at times.”

Right - so let's rip off all those scabs and let Chipper pour salt into the wounds. And notice Jeff didn't say "MY HEART"? Fuck him.

From a business standpoint, it doesn't make sense. This is someone who either prevented you from getting to the playoffs or prevented you from advancing in the playoffs, which equals money you didn't make. You're honoring THAT?

I'm not saying just sit there and do nothing. Chipper Jones is a first ballot HOF player so he demands respect in that aspect. I will applaud him and rightfully so, but STOP with the showering of gifts.

Players retire every year. They don't get all the bells and whistles Chipper is getting from every team (a surfboard from SD, the Braves flag from Wrigley, etc.). Let's not act like it's Hank Aaron saying goodbye. This is being done because Jones announced his retirement in March and teams were able to prepare. Cal Ripken, Jr. never got anything, Tony Gwynn never got anything, so what's the difference?

And really I'm angry because it seems like once again the Mets treat a nemesis better than they do their own fans. This is a team that had no problem giving Mariano Rivera the pitching rubber from Citi Field after he got his 500th save there. Let me know when every paying customer receives their own painting and then we can discuss honoring someone who destroyed your seasons for over a decade and a half.

Maybe instead of honoring someone who treated your team like Bobby Cox treated his wife, maybe you can work on getting oh I don't know, a competitive team out there?

No Mas Burg

Various media outlets are reporting that Nationals manager Davey Johnson has informed ace and all around fucking stud Stephen Strasburg that his season is over, even before the rumored 180 IP limit.

I'm not in favor of shutting down an uninjured player but if you're going to, then make sure it's when you're having a typical Nats year, not one that has you fighting for the NL East title.

I've mentioned this a few times on my podcast Wait 'Til Next Year but I can't fathom how you would shut down a player of Strasburg's caliber when you're knocking on October's door.

I understand the basic idea of playing it safe when it comes to someone like Strasburg. His kind of talent doesn't come around every year and yeah, you should probably baby him and think more long term but NOT during a pennant race and not when he's pitching lights out and not showing any kind of injury.

What does that message say to the fans? Hey thanks for supporting us from April to September but when the games are really important, we're basically giving up. Same thing for the other Nationals players. Hey thanks for fighting it out and grinding through a tough but fun season, but come playoff time we're bringing a knife to a gunfight.

What are you protecting him from? He could take a line drive to the face as easily as he could hurt his arm. Grow some balls, roll the dice and send out your best possible players when the games mean the most.

A starting trio of Strasburg, Gonzalez, and Zimmermann could do some damage in a best of 5. Take Strasburg out and I have no idea what to expect.

The baseball fan in me is disappointed today. Farewell, Strasboner.

See you next year.

Thank God.

The Bay Situation

I'm not a fan of Jason Bay. If you follow this blog, you know this. Anyone who's listened to me on my podcast is probably tired of hearing me bitch about him. Or just tired of hearing me, period, but whatever. I'm tired of it too.

He tries, he hustles, etc. I don't care how nice of a guy he is, he's still 10 pounds of shit stuffed into a 5 pound bag.

My problem is the situation - more specifically, the fact that the Mets are not playing with the best 25 options right now. This was the same problem with Oliver Perez, to the point where Jerry Manuel refused to pitch him for a month.

Maybe Sandy Alderson and Terry Collins are just following orders, but stop trying to sell me on Bay regaining any chance of him being that player he was in Pittsburgh and Boston. He's done and so is this season. 

Doesn't it kill those other players in the clubhouse that not only does this slappy make more than them but he's not even being held accountable for his failing? Why should I care about him platooning when he doesn't even deserve a roster spot? How could you take Collins seriously when he tried to rally the troops by not only starting Bay but hitting him 5th or 6th for as long as he did?


How can you send Lucas Duda or Kirk Nieuwenhuis to AAA while Bay still gets to play in the major leagues? Yeah these guys are professionals but what's that message you're sending to them? One little slump and you're gone, while the guy hitting a buck fifty sticks around just because he makes a fuckload of money?

It's easy for me to tell the Wilpons what they should do with their money (it's also easy for me to tell them to go fuck themselves with a giant fucking elephant cock), as I know simply releasing Bay and eating the remaining $16M on his contract (plus the $3M buyout) isn't an easy thing to do. Especially when Alderson did the same with Perez and Luis Castillo a year ago. It sucks paying a guy $19M just to not be around, I get that. But he offers no value right now. None. Any kind of upside or trade value is gone and he needs to be released immediately.


Start fresh next year and win or lose with your best 25.

Hot Garbage

I don't really like referencing Justin Drew on this site, on Facebook, or on my podcast (found RIGHT HERE!), but I have to give him credit for introducing a new term to my vocabulary: Hot Garbage. I don't remember the context in which he said it, and since it's Justin, it doesn't really matter.

Point is, I was thinking of that term last night when I was at Petco Park watching the Padres host the Mets (with both teams wearing AWESOME 1989 retro jerseys). The old saying goes "You root for the laundry"... well last night I literally was rooting for the laundry, as the '89 jersey was the only reason (outside of Dickey) to crack a smile last night. Not that 1989 was a fun year, with the Mets trading Lenny Dykstra to the Phils the SAME fucking day we headed to Philly to watch them play.  True story.

Dykstra, Wilson, Carter, and Hernandez all left after '89... remind me again why the Mets agreed to play along with the Padres on this one?

Anyway, hot garbage time. R.A. Dickey pitched very well but was the victim of some putrid defense behind him. I'm looking at you, Scott Hairston and Josh Thole.

Hairston is what he is, a glorified bench player in his walk year. But at least he offers something with his bat. Thole brings nothing to the table except a giant pair of pussy lips. I'm not asking for Johnny Bench but at least hold on to the fucking ball when a runner is trying to break up a 1-1 tie. Easy for me to scream at Thole (and I did) while pudgy Carlos Quentin is colliding with him, but it's Thole's job to make the play, especially when Quentin was out by 15 feet.

And if the offense decided to score more than 1 run on 9 fucking hits, that would have been swell. I know it was '80s night but that wasn't Mark Davis on the mound, it was Clayton Fucking Richard. Outside of Hairston, they're getting no production from their outfield and their catcher position is the biggest black hole since Oprah's snatch. If Wright and Davis are cold, this lineup is DEAD.

Dickey deserved better. This was a winnable game against an awful team. No more hot garbage, please.

Game 107: Padres 3, Mets 1
Mets 2012 record: 52-55

GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

Well Terry Collins predicted the Mets would be sluggish after last night's loss to the Yankees... and his team backed up his words by spraying hot liquid diarrhea all over Wrigley Field tonight (a reversal for the home fans, since they've rooted for dog shit since the 1870s) in a sloppy 6-1 loss.

Sloppy isn't even the right word. Ugly, lazy, disrespectful, pretty much everything Mrs. Bender said to Mr. Bender, according to their son John. Go to the two minute mark here.

Not one but TWO three-base errors in the same inning. One is rare but two? Unheard of and there's no excuse for it, especially not the one of having to play Sunday Night Baseball.

TC - I like you, I think you're a good guy even if you don't bring in Byrdak to face Cano and leave Miguel Fucking Batista in for multiple innings, but I can't defend what you said. It's YOUR job to prepare your team for every game. When you predict a sluggish game and it happens, that's on you, little man.

Plenty of teams play Sunday Night Baseball and don't shit the bed the next night.

Three errors and the offense makes Travis Wood look like Wilbur Wood. In a fucking Johan start. Against the Cubs, a team that will probably lose 100 games this year.

This had "gimme" written all over it but I never thought it would have been for the Cubbies. Fucking garbage.

But nooooooooooooooooooooooo

I've been trying to come up with the right words for what happened last night with Johan Santana and the Mets.

I wrote earlier in the week how I've been spoiled with other sports. You can call me a dick, but I know how to react to my team winning the Super Bowl, Stanley Cup, and at one time, the World Series. But I have no idea how to react to a no-hitter by the Mets. Over 8,000 games and a pitching lineage of Seaver, Koosman, Gooden, Cone, Pedro, and it never happened.  It's fitting that someone of Santana's caliber finally got it done. Miguel Batista getting the franchise's first no-hitter just seems wrong but almost expected, given the craziness that has surrounded this team since 1962.

But it happened last night and I still can't believe it. No matter what happens the rest of the season (and who knows what to expect from Johan after a career-high 134 pitches), nothing or no one can take away the experience of finally seeing something I thought would never happen.

Blah-dres

It's always nice when a team that was hitting a robust .220 comes into Citi Field and scores 11 runs and bangs out 18 hits. Petco or not, .220 is still .220 and this is a team that's 28th in average, 29th in runs scored, and DEAD FUCKING LAST in slugging. More proof that the Mets pitching is the common cure for any batting slump.

That said, if SD's ownership ever gave a shit about payroll, they could contend in that division. They have a pretty decent core of Maybin, Alonso, and Headley. Volquez, Bass, and Luebke have the makings of a good rotation. It's a nice start but not enough.

As for the Mets, David Wright had three more hits and is now hitting .405. Suck my dick, Matt Cain.

Three more against the Friars, including Banner Day on Sunday. Nope, not jealous about that at all.

Game 45: Padres 11, Mets 5

Mets 2012 record: 24-21

Niese and Easy

I don't have much for today's rubber game between the Mets and Pirates but mostly because it shouldn't have been a rubber game. It should have been a sweep and I can't get excited for a series the Mets SHOULD have won anyway.

But Niese looked good, pitching into the 8th inning while only giving up 1 run. Oh, and Wright "slumped" to .399... so there's that.

Game 44: Mets 3, Pirates 1
Mets 2012 record: 24-20

SPOILER ALERT!

Hi loyal reader(s), I'm back after a two-week sabbatical. I don't really see myself as a writer so I guess I just had "block."

I don't think I've missed much with my daily Mets recaps, with them going 6-7 during my hiatus. More on them later.

My post tonight is going to deal with my other two teams - the New York Giants and the New Jersey Devils.

It's funny that the team I love the most of the three has been the least successful in terms of championships. The Mets have only won the World Series twice (Pre-Joo in 1969, and of course in 1986) while the Giants have won the Super Bowl four times, and the Devils have skated with the Stanley Cup three times.

What amazes me is not just how many times they've won but WHEN they won. Sure the Mets won in 1986 but I was on the verge of turning 11 and not really getting baseball. The Giants not only won in the 1986 season but also the 1990 season (thanks Norwood), as well as the recent triumphs over the fucking Patriots. The Devils won in 1995 (the lockout really soured me on hockey) and in 2000 and 2003, so you could say my "adult" life has been blessed in terms of football and hockey. Shit, the Devils are two wins away from ANOTHER Stanley Cup finals.

I absolutely feel spoiled when it comes to those two sports. Not that I don't relish the victories but a Mets WS win is going to be that much sweeter if and when it happens again. I don't know much but I know Frank Francisco won't be around when it does. Fuck that guy with Thor's hammer.  And his cock.

Game 43: Mets 3, Pirates 2

Mets 2012 record: 23-20

Two outs? No problem!

Admittedly, I had one eye on the Mets and the other on the Devils-Flyers game. Both wound up having very exciting results.  The Devils won 3-1 to move on to the Eastern Conference Finals where the Mets beat up on yet another Philadelphia team. The Phillies had a quick 4-0 start and I figured this was done early.  Most of the night it was, until the Mets exploded for four two-out runs to tie it in the top of 7th. Some choppy Philly defense led to that 5th tie-breaking run and then Nieuwenhuis and Duda added a pair of RBIs in the 9th to make it 7-4. More than enough for this bullpen. 4 shutout innings last night, another 4 shutout innings tonight. You just never know with these guys but I love that they never quit, no matter who they're playing.

Game 30: Mets 7, Phillies 4

Mets 2012 record: 17-13

PAPEL-BLOWN!

No he didn't blow a save but goddamn that was a nice win tonight.

Jordany Valdespin played the hero role tonight, slamming a pinch hit 3-run HR off Jonathan Papelbon to lead the Mets to a come from behind 5-2 win over the Phillies.

Jon Niese was on the ropes most of the night but the Phillies couldn't put him away, and he left the game after only giving up two runs over five innings. Considering he threw 101 pitches, he's lucky the score wasn't worse.

The bullpen came up huge in a couple of tough spots, including a bases loaded jam when Hunter Pence hit into a routine 6-4-3 interference play. Fuck Victorino and his "who, me?" attitude. You're a dirty, whiny little bitch.

I know it's May but this was a fun win.

Game 29: Mets 5, Phillies 2

Mets 2012 record: 16-13

Avenger$

OK let's just run down all the box office records set by "The Avengers", courtesy of Box Office Mojo.

• Best 3-day weekend of all-time ($207M)
• Fastest to $100M, $150M, and $200M
• Highest per-theater average
• Highest IMAX debut ($15M)

I've always dug box office numbers, being a hook-nose Joo and all, but I'm reading into them with a grain of salt.

Tickets are more expensive today, plus you have to factor in 3D and IMAX prices.

It was a great popcorn movie, a nice way to kick off the summer, but stop with all the "biggest movie of all-time" shit. When it's all said and done, I don't think "The Avengers" will be topping this list.

Reliable Dickey

Very nice game today. Dickey's been so automatic the last couple of years that I'm running out of things to say about him.

He pitched into the 9th and the offense did just enough to wind up taking the series from Arizona. If not for well, Ike, this could have been a sweep.

Now on to Philly.
 
Game 28: Mets 3, Diamondbacks 1

Mets 2012 record: 15-13

Fuck Blackouts

I really don't understand the Fox Saturday blackouts. What's the point? Why in today's age of technology should I be limited to a regional game? Shouldn't fans be encouraged to watch teams they normally wouldn't? Don't force the Brewers-Giants game on me, give me a choice of what to watch. The Orioles are playing well, I'd love to watch them on a Saturday afternoon. Fuck you MLB, for ditching your nationally televised Game of the Week in favor of a quick buck from Fox. And fuck you Fox, for telling me what I should watch and blacking out everything else. Fuck you with the rustiest of nails.

It's 2012 - give us the choice or at least give us a non-regional game. That's how you promote the game. That's how you promote teams not named the Yankees or Red Sox.

At least with football, I can find a link (that might or might not be legal) to the Giants game. But with Saturday baseball, Fox clamps down like a fucking pitbull. I wound up streaming the audio from today's Dbacks-Mets game, and while I love the WFAN coverage, give me the choice of TV or radio. I paid for MLB.tv, I should get the tv part every single day.

Anyway, as for today's game... the Mets scored four runs for Johan Santana for the second straight start and the bullpen actually saved this one, earning Santana his first win since September of 2010. I stand corrected on Andres Torres - he's been outstanding since his return from the DL. He's played in five games and had a hit & RBI in all five.

Game 27: Mets 4, Diamondbacks 3

Mets 2012 record: 14-13

Dbags

I don't think I missed much tonight with the Mets & DBacks. Looked like another blah showing.

If it's not the starting pitching, it's the bullpen. If it's not the offense, it's the defense. Seems to be the mark of your typical .500 team.

Game 26: Diamondbacks 5, Mets 4

Mets 2012 record: 13-13

Nothing to see here...

Game 25: Astros 8, Mets 1

Mets 2012 record: 13-12

UGH

When you lose two in a row to the fucking ASTROS, you don't deserve a recap.

Game 24: Astros 6, Mets 3

Mets 2012 record: 13-11

Houston, We Have A Shitty Loss

This one's going to Terry Collins.

If you can get a scoreless inning out of Manny F. Acosta, why push your luck by sending him out there for another inning? I understand you ideally want Rauch out there with a lead to protect, but what's the difference?  It's the fucking Astros. I'm pretty sure Rauch could handle a lead or a tie game.

As for the offense, I don't know what Andres Torres bring to this team. Nieuwenhuis is sticking around at the leadoff spot, and rightfully so... so I don't know what Torres can do hitting 7th. Or 8th. Or 9th. Or 1st through 6th in the order.  Sorry, just not a fan of another AAAA outfielder masquerading as a legit ballplayer. God knows the Mets have had enough of those over the years.

Still, to finish April not only over .500, but three games over was a very nice surprise. Let's see what May brings.

Game 23: Astros 4, Mets 3

Mets 2012 record: 13-10

Rocky Mounting High

I was going to post last night's recap earlier but I was distracted by the Devils game and I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone after Johan's easy 4-0 win today.

Oops.

To quote the late great Chris Penn in "Reservoir Dogs", first thing's fuckin' last. Dillon Gee provided a nice bounce back game on Saturday, giving up four runs in seven innings and Lucas Duda supplied the offense with four RBI. Tejada, Murphy, and Wright also contributed with three hits each.

Now let's get to today's game. Santana was in cruise control, going 6 scoreless on 90 pitches. The offense knocked Jamie Moyer around but couldn't land the knockout blow. I could bitch about the high LOB number but a 4-0 lead is still 4-0 and it SHOULD have been enough.

Here's my problem. The Mets bullpen got fucking TORCHED on Friday, so wouldn't it have made sense not to go to them again so quickly, especially with a dominant Santana on the mound? I know he's coming off an injury but let's not act like 90 pitches is 120.

So of course, the inevitable happens. The Rockies load up the bases in the 8th before Deer Meat Lover Todd Helton hits a game-tying PH slam off Tim Byrdak.

The Mets fight back and score a run in the top of the 9th before Frank Fuckcisco grooved up a game-tying HR to Carlos Gonzalez.  Again, why is a team that's pinching pennies handing out two-year deals to failed closers?  I'll never understand that.

The Mets wound up winning the game in the 10th but this was the rare win that just annoyed me. It shouldn't have been this close, it should have been a nice easy Sunday rocking chair-type win.

Fuckers.

Game 21: Mets 7, Rockies 5

Game 22: Mets 6, Rockies 5

Mets 2012 record: 13-9

ROCKY FORE!

At least Scott Hairston hit for the cycle.

That's the best thing I can say about a game that saw the Mets turn a 6-2 5th inning lead into a 13-6 deficit after the Rockies' half of the 5th.

The sum of that inning: 11 runs, 7 hits, 2 3-run HRs, and 4 Mets errors.

Whatever. A loss is a loss and this is less excruciating than a 1-0 loss, I guess.

Game 20: Rockies 19, Mets 9

Mets 2012 record: 11-9

For Whom The Bell Tolls

Well, that was nice.

Former Met and current fat fuck Heath Bell walked four of the first five hitters he faced today (including a 13-pitch at bat to Justin Turner) before motherfucking stud Kirk Nieuwenhuis lined a game-winning RBI single to lead the Mets to a 3-2 win and series sweep over the Florida Miami Marlins.

On a side note, this was the Mets first homegrown lineup in 41 years. Completely homegrown from Nieuwenhuis to Niese. It's nice to get someone like Beltran or Santana but this is why I don't need megadeals for Bay or K-Rod. Let's see what the kids can do.

Especially Nieuwenhuis. He set the tone robbing Reyes of a triple in the first game and won today’s game with the walk off hit. Fuck Andres Torres, there's no reason why that CF job shouldn't be Kirk's for the rest of the year.

Niese keeps rolling along. 7 IP, 4 hits, 2 runs, 0 walks, 6 Ks.  Solid.

Sweeps in April don't mean much but it's always nice to beat the Marlins. 

Game 19: Mets 3, Marlins 2

Mets 2012 record: 11-8

Straw-buried

Move over, Straw.

David Wright became the Mets' all-time RBI leader tonight with a key HR that snapped a 1-1 tie against the Marlins. OK, Straw's 733 isn't a huge number but it's a testament to Wright's impact with the team since his arrival in 2004. I hope he can stick around for a few more, unlike Darryl.

Another great game by Dickey, he's become Mr. Automatic. The Mets don't have much, but that's a pretty solid 1-3 in the rotation with Santana, Dickey, and Niese. 

Very nice win tonight.

Game 18: Mets 5, Marlins 1

Mets 2012 record: 10-8

No-han

It's foolish to "feel sorry" for a guy due $50M this year and next, but damn it, can anyone buy Johan Santana a run, let alone a win?

Christ on a crutch, I scored more in high school than the Mets have for #57 this year. I know he's matched against other aces but scratch out a run or two for him sometime.

Johan was fucking DEALING tonight. 6.2 IP, 3 hits, 1 run, 2 walks, and 11 Ks, with that one run coming at the hands of shitty Met defense AGAIN (sounds like an oxymoron).

Santana has no wins, Jon Rauch has 3... which again goes to prove that W-L is one of the most worthless stats for a pitcher.

When does one officially become worried about Strike Davis? Another 0 for 2 tonight and it got to the point where Terry Collins had to send up Justin Turner for him in the 7th. Slumps are slumps, I just hope he's not hurt.

And speaking of hurt, I'm sorry to see Bay AND Pelfrey land on the DL. Yeah part of it is addition by subtraction but I was hoping Pelf could turn it around.

I'm not going to mention Reyes. He got his contract, good for him. That's all I've got to say about that.

Game 17: Mets 2, Marlins 1

2012 Mets record: 9-8

Yikes Davis

I was so disgusted with yesterday's doubleheader, that I didn't even do a recap until this morning.

Here's all you need to know: Ike Davis left 11 on base for both games... and only started one of them.

Fuck this noise. Bring on the fucking Marlins.

Game 15: Giants 6, Mets 1

Game 16: Giants, 7, Mets 2

2012 Mets record: 8-8

UGLY

I really don't understand this series so far between the Mets and Giants. On Friday night, Bruce Bochy managed a game he deserved to lose but won. Today, Terry Collins did the same with his Mets.

I know you want Mike Pelfrey to get some confidence and maybe that's why you take him out after 102 pitches, but he only threw handful of pitches in the 8th. At the very least, why not have him start the 9th with a 4-1 lead?

And if you're going to Francisco in the 9th, stick with him. He's your closer. If he can't be trusted with a 3-run lead, then why the fuck is he even on the roster in the first place?

Just a very frustrating win, if there is such a thing. Awful defense by both teams, awful decisions by both managers.


Game 14: Mets 5, Giants 4

2012 Mets record: 8-6

PS - Shut the fuck up, Buster. It was a clean play. Sorry sweetie, catchers get run into sometimes.

Why I Love "Mad Men"

No, it's not because of Christina Hendricks.

No, it's not because of my mancrush on Jon Hamm.

It's not even because one of the characters is a Mets fan as seen here.

It's because of the scene below. Nothing they've done since or nothing they will ever do will top this scene.

CLICK ME!

Jason Kay...again

Dear Jason:

All you had to do was hit a fly ball.

Even a ground ball could have done something.

A single would have been nice but I wasn't greedy.

Here's what you don't want to do down a run in extra innings with runners at 2nd and 3rd and 1 out:

STRIKE OUT.

Thanks for nothing, you douche. I don't even care that you turned a 3-0 game into 3-1 earlier that night. Where were you when a simple out would have been productive? The fences were moved in for you. Do you need it on a fucking tee too?

I saw a stat on SNY that said something to the effect of the Mets having the best 1-3 hitters in terms of BA and OBP but their 4-6 are ranked something like 27th in those categories. You're not going to win many games leaving a small army on the bases. It's not JUST Bay, but he's going to take the brunt of the criticism and rightfully so. You're the one making the money, you're gonna take some shit.

Goddamn it anyway. This was another winnable game, with the Giants offense going 2-14 with RISP and with Bruce Bochy doing his best "manage an April game like an October game" impression.  Seven pitchers, Boche? I know losing Wilson sucks but seven pitchers?

One positive: Kirk Nieuwenhuis looked great AGAIN and to me, has earned the right to play CF every day, regardless of the health of Andres Torres. Let's see what the kid can do long-term.

It seemed like a loooong time ago when this team was 4-0, getting strong starting pitching and clutch hits. I'm getting tired of writing "Opponent (number), Mets (numbers)" below.

Game 13: Giants 4, Mets 3

2012 Mets record: 7-6

Dick, E.

In my opinion, that sucked.

The Mets offense had plenty of chances today to put Jair Jurrjens away. After Ike’s HR in the 2^nd inning, the Mets had 1^st and 2^nd with 0 outs and couldn’t score. After Wright’s RBI double in the 3^rd inning, he got thrown out trying to score on Ike’s single. After Wright’s RBI single in the 5^th, the Mets had runners on the corners with 0 outs and couldn’t score. After Kirk’s RBI single in the 6^th, the Mets had two on with Murph and Wright coming up and couldn’t do anything. Two guys got thrown out at home. 

So frustrating. I haven’t hated Tim Teufel this much since Game 1 of the ’86 WS. I’ve been bitching about the LOB number since Opening Day. Bay left 3 on today, Duda 4, the team itself left 11 on base.  You have to find a way to get those runners home.

And not that it mattered because every time the Mets scored, the Braves not only answered but DOUBLED what the Mets scored that inning. If the Mets scored once, the Braves put up two runs. If the Mets scored twice, the Braves put up a 4-spot.

As for Dickey, his knuckler didn’t have it today and that’s the problem with a pitch like that. When it’s on, it’s nearly unhittable. When it’s off, the batters tee off.

And from a fantasy standpoint, if the Braves were going to win, why could Jurrjens stick around for the W?

Oh - and fucknut Bay made another error. So there's that.

This was a winnable game and a really frustrating one to lose.

Fuck.

Game 12: Braves 14, Mets 6

Mets 2012 record: 7-5

One of These Nights

Yup. One of these nights in Atlanta tonight.

Not much to say when Johan Santana had the shortest start of his career and only got four outs.

I was going to mention something about the Mets starting pitching being pretty solid before tonight. Dating back to Santana's start against the Boner, the Mets' starters turned in five solid starts in a row before the wheels came off tonight.

Anyway, not much you can do about tonight. Just come back tomorrow and take the series.

On a side note, the Mets are going to honor Jose Reyes during his return to NY next week. I'm OK with it, to a degree. After all, he did leave for a division rival in the prime of his career (and in a way I wasn't crazy about), so it's not like Piazza coming back with the Padres or something like that. But he was an exciting player when healthy and spent 9 years in blue & orange, so that's what matters. It's not like he was a division rival on his farewell tour...

Game 11: Braves 9, Mets 3

Mets 2012 record: 7-4

Oh Em GEE!

This was one of the rare Mets wins where I don't know what made me the happiest.


Let's start with Ike Davis. That's two HRs in consecutive days. My fantasy team thanks you.


Dillon Gee handcuffed a very solid Braves offense. Seven innings, one runs, four hits, one walk, and five strikeouts. Not bad for your 5th starter. And I fucking LOVE that goatee.


And let's end with Jason Bay. I know he won't be the hitter he was in Pittsburgh and Boston but if he can be even HALF of what he was there, I'll take it. That's two HRs in the span of four games... and a really nice catch to boot.


BTW, that's four in a row against the Braves.  Bitches.


Game 10: Mets 6, Braves 1

Mets 2012 record: 7-3

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

Well... at least Ike showed up.  That's about all I have to say about today's game.

Shitty defense + shitty bullpen = bad combo. Both showed up today and you're just not gonna win any games by giving the other teams extra outs. 

Pelfrey looked decent, you just never know what you're going to get from him.  Outside of Ike's HR, no one was touching Hamels today. He looked really sharp...for a fuckstick, I mean.

A sweep would have been nice but I'll take 2 of 3.

Game 9: Phillies 8, Mets 2

Mets 2012 record: 6-3

Niese Game, Pretty Boy

Wow.

What else can you say about today's game? Just when you thought David Wright was DL-bound, he returns the lineup in a major way. He went 3-5 including a first pitch HR in the first inning.

The rest was left up to my twin, Jon Niese. Fresh off his dominating start against the Braves, Niese handcuffed the Phillies today. 102 pitches (still a little high for not getting out of the 7th), 5 singles, no runs, 1 walk, 5 Ks. Yes, the Phillies look absolutely awful without Utley and Howard but that line in that bandbox is impressive, no matter who's playing.

A few weeks ago, I predicted 13 wins for Niese on my podcast Wait 'Til Next Year. Well, two starts... two gems. His real test will come later this year since he's never been able to stay healthy. If he can, he's looking at a fantastic year.

I don't know when I should be officially worried about Ike. He went 1-5 today to raise his average to .071. Yes, it's still early. Yes, he's still coming off a lost season and the whole Valley Fever scare in the spring. I'm just wondering when you broach the idea of moving him out of that cleanup spot.  Just something to think about.

Great win, now let's go for the sweep tomorrow. I know this is all house money but a sweep in Philly would be fucking sweet, April or no April.

Game 8: Mets 5, Phillies 0

Mets 2012 record: 6-2

SAY HEY, BAY!

Well, fuck my ass and call me Nancy.

If you weren't watching tonight's series opener between the Mets and Phils, you missed something special. No, not R.A. Dickey's 14th straight quality start. Not the fact that the Phillies got old in a hurry (they really did).

You missed Jason Fucking Bay going OPPOSITE FIELD off Cliff Lee.

HO. LEE. SHIT.

Aside from the obvious, the Mets need his bat more than ever, with David Wright likely (and rightfully so) heading to the DL. If Bay and Ike (1-23 now) can get going, the loss of Wright won't be as bad.

Even then, they're not going to outslug anyone, so it's all about timely hits and good starting pitching like they got tonight. I wouldn't have lifted Dickey after 100+ pitches, but I like the idea of going from soft Dickey to hard Parnell...that's what she said.

Game 7: Mets 5, Phillies 2

Mets 2012 record: 5-2

Chipper Groans

When I heard the news of the Mets possibly honoring Chipper Jones this year, my reaction was just like Jake Blues when Elwood said they had to visit the Penguin.

"No. Fucking. Way."

That's right, the team that gave the pitching rubber to Mariano Rivera after his 500th save and built a stadium as tribute to a team that left New York in the 1950s is paying homage to one of their biggest rivals. Hey Mike Schmidt owned the Mets too, where was his JumboTron celebration in '89?

I'm not against showing respect to someone who had a great career. During the last game, Chipper can come out and the fans can choose to applaud him but that's it. I respect opposing teams and players (except Bonds, Clemens, and A-Rod to name a few) but I don't think a team should go out of its way to honor someone who never played for them, especially one who made a habit of beating them.

Would the Red Sox do this for Jeter?

Would the Jets do this for Brady?

And lest we forget THIS fucking gem from Chipper after the '99 NLCS:

"Now, all the Mets fans can go home and put their Yankees' stuff on."

And really, it's a slap in the face that Chipper Fucking Jones gets any kind of celebration at all while this stubborn and out of touch franchise refuses to retire the numbers of Davey Johnson, Dwight Gooden, Darryl Strawberry, Keith Hernandez, or Gary Carter. And with all due respect, don't get me started on Jackie Robinson.

You had a great career, Larry. You're a first ballot Hall of Famer. But if anyone should honor you, it should be the Atlanta Braves. Period.

Boner, Party of One

Fifty years ago tonight, the New York Mets played their very first game. Today was one of their better matchups, with Johan Santana taking on Stephen Strasburg, my Strasboner. 

I wish they weren't limited by pitch counts so early in the season as I would have liked to see what they'd do with the reigns loosened a bit.

Johan threw 99 pitches over 5 plus, giving up 1 run on 5 hits, 3 walks, and 8 Ks.  Strasburg went 6 on 108 pitches, gave up 2 hits, 3 walks, 0 runs, and struck out 9.

The Mets had a chance in the first. 2nd and 3rd with one out, and Boner was a little wild. Of course, Ike and Bay did nothing and Strasburg got even stronger as the game went on.  He was helped out by facing an anemic and jumpy offense. Thole swung at the first pitch in consecutive at bats and had nothing to show for it. 

It just really goes show that as much as the fans shit on Wright, this team is completely different without him in the lineup, especially when Ike and Bay can’t hit water if they fall out of a fucking boat.  Especially Bay. He sucks the sweat off a dead guy's dick. Fuck him.

Game 6: Nationals 4, Mets 0

Mets 2012 record: 4-2

FOUR FUCKING DAYS??

Really, baseball gods, you could only give us four days to smile? It was revealed tonight that David Wright has a small fracture in the middle joint of his right pinky. It won’t require surgery (yet) but I’m fully expecting him to have arm transplant surgery by the end of the week.

And that other shoe? It dropped tonight just like the Mets defense.  Daniel Murphy and Lucas Duda misplayed routine plays, leading to three Washington runs.  The lineup, already missing Wright and Ike Davis, did two things against Ross F. Detwiler: jack and shit.

Hey Jason Bay, fuck off.  Go curling or some shit. Go stick your dick in a maple tree. Just leave the game of baseball to those who can still play it. Way to come up huge when two big bats are out of the lineup.

I said at the beginning of the season that for the Mets to even sniff 81 wins, they’d need to have everything break right. I wasn’t really expecting something of Wright’s to break. 

Looking forward to Johan vs. The Boner tomorrow.

Game 5: Nationals 6, Mets 2

Mets 2012 record: 4-1

Oh, Murph!

Again, it's early but it's fun to watch the Mets, especially after tonight's walk-off 4-3 win.

The lineup is still scoring runs despite getting NOTHING from Ike and Bay and it doesn't even matter right now. I can even overlook the 2-11 with RISP and 10 more LOB tonight.

Murphy and Wright are off to torrid starts, with Murph off to a .389 start (including tonight's game winner) and Wright a sizzling .583.

My blogging bud-Dee over at Metscellaneous.com mentioned something about finally breaking up Reyes and Wright and she might be on to something here. This is finally Wright's team and maybe he has something to prove. Piazza, Delgado, Beltran, and Reyes are all gone. This is HIS team and he seems to be leading by example so far.

Three more scoreless innings from the pen. I just hope they don't peak early because these starters aren't going deep into games.

With such low expectations, the Mets really couldn't have started any better. I'm loving it so far.

Game 4: Mets 4, Nationals 3

Mets 2012 record: 4-0

Saturday Night Lifeless

What happened to the edgy Saturday Night Live? The show that wasn’t afraid to break the rules and take on all authority, regardless of political party?

I only ask because they never tweak Obama at all, except for a shitty Fred Armisen impression and even then, he plays the straight role surrounded by a bunch of buffoons. I’m not expecting or wanting an Amos n Andy “looky here” routine but show some fucking balls and make fun of the guy in charge if and when it’s warranted.

SNL has no problem lampooning Romney, Gingrich, Santorum, and to a degree, Biden. And rightfully so since anyone in the public eye is fair game for satire and those provide plenty of ammo. But if you’re gonna bust balls, do it across the board. Don’t just cherry pick who you attack for political reasons. This isn’t a political gripe, since I think EVERYONE is ripe for some jokes. Obama, Hillary, Biden, Romney, Palin, everyone. 

Satire is satire, comedy is comedy, don’t hold back because you’re afraid to ruffle some feathers.

A Very Niese Day

On a day when it seemed like we'd see history, we had to settle for a season opening sweep of the Braves.

Jon Niese, he of the recently signed contract extension and more importantly, the identical twin of Sollywood's own Fred Solomon, carried a no-hitter into the 7th before Freddie Freeman broke it up with a clean single to right. So once again, Freddy's worst enemy is Freddie.

Solid day by the offense. Tejada, Murphy, and Wright combined for 7 hits and 5 RBI. Davis is still struggling out of the gate but if he and Bay can start to hit, this becomes a very dangerous lineup.

Back to Niese. He was absolutely locked in today before the wheels came off in the 7th. While he gets most of the credit for today's performance, I can't help but wonder if he was willed to victory by two of the founding members of the Jonathon Joseph Niese Fan Club: Ed Leyro and Taryn Cooper.

Happy Niester!

Game 3: Mets 7, Braves 5

Mets 2012 record: 3-0

Zippity Duda

It's still early.

That's what I'm telling myself after two games but that being said, I like what I see so far from the Mets. Two HRs from Lucas Duda, one from David Wright, and more importantly, three more scoreless innings from the bullpen.

And not for nothing but if Kirk Nieuwenhuis keeps hitting, he just Wally Pipp'd Andres Torres. That's fine by me since I'm always in favor of 4th OFs being just that, not leading off and playing CF.

Another day, another small army left on base. Twelve today, to go with the eight left on in Thursday's game.

Oh - and that's a series win. Suck my dick, Mikey.

Game 2: Mets 4, Braves 2

Mets 2012 record: 2-0

Opening Daze

This was a very bizarre and bittersweet day for me. I was happy to have baseball back but it was surreal to know that this was my first Opening Day without my mom. As I alluded to in my very first Sollywood post, baseball was the common thread I had with my mom, no matter what. She would have loved today’s game. She always favored a close well-pitched game over a 10-9 slugfest.

As for the game, you have to be happy with Johan Santana. His first major league game since September 2010 and outside of a minor hiccup in the 5^th when he walked the 8^th and 9^th hitters, he looked solid. Five innings pitched, two hits, two walks, and five Ks. The bullpen was excellent, pitching four innings and only giving up two hits, one walk, while striking out three.

Not in love with the amount of runners left on base today but a win is a win and given the fact that I don’t expect the Mets to get a lot of those this year, I’ll take it.

Game 1: Mets 1, Braves 0

Mets 2012 record: 1-0

PS - If you work with me and are reading this (chances are you don't and you're not), that's why I was wearing black today.

Go Fuck Yourself, Hollywood Part II Again Two

Hollywood, I totally understand you're in the business of making money. I get that, really.  But for the love of fuck, STOP MAKING UNNECESSARY SEQUELS.

Obviously everything can't be "The Godfather, Part II" but who exactly was clamoring for sequels to "Midnight Run" and "Twins"?

If you haven't seen "Midnight Run", I highly suggest you bump it to the top of your viewing queue. Ask this blogger if you want more proof. Or this one. A fantastic movie with a great ending and absolutely NO need to make a sequel some 25 years later, especially with Brett Ratner at the helm. De Niro's attached to it but what about Charles Grodin? If you absolutely positively have to continue the story of Walsh and The Duke, bring EVERYBODY back. And I mean everybody from director Martin Brest to actors like Dennis Farina, Joe Pantoliano, Yaphet Kotto, and John Ashton. Do it right or don't do it at all.

I liked "Twins" when it came out. It is what it is. A one-joke comedy that showed off Ah-nuld's (limited) comedy chops. Now there's word that "Twins" will become "Triplets", with Eddie Murphy being the long-lost triplet.

EEES FUNNY BECAUSE HE EES BLACK, YES?

Look, I'm not against the idea of a sequel to a successful movie. The first three Indiana Jones movies are timeless, as is the original Star Wars trilogy. They advanced the story, they developed the characters, they weren't (totally) a cash grab. More recently, the Bourne movies were tremendous and really well-done (not in love with the idea of a Damon-less Bourne but we'll see).

Here's my problem: there were 27 sequels in 2011 alone, with more on the horizon. How about a little originality? Not everything has to be "Inception" but Jesus Christ, do we need six "Fast and Furious" films? Do we need three "Hangover" movies when the only difference is the location?

Here's a partial list of completed or proposed sequels, tell me if any of these NEED to be made.

• Men in Black 3
• GI Joe 2
• Ghostbusters 3 (read my rant here)
• Die Hard 5
• Rambo 5 (OK I'd see this. Fuck off.)
• Get Smart 2
• Indiana Jones 5 (NO FUCKING WAY)
• Mad Max 4
• I, Robot 2
• Austin Powers 4
• Falling Down 2 (WHAT? He died in the first one!)
• Hancock 2 (I almost walked out of the first one)
• Top Gun 2 (Sighs...)
• Beverly Hills Cop 4 (Eddie, just stop already)
• Avatar 2 and 3
• Terminator 5
• Jurassic Park 4

Still reading? Here are some completed or proposed remakes. Again, are these needed?

• Total Recall
• Spiderman (How do you reboot a trilogy that began in 2002?)
• Child's Play
• The Lone Ranger (With Johnny Depp as Tonto. That's more offensive to Native Americans than the Indians logo.)
• Robocop
• Scarface 
• Short Circuit
• Point Break
• WarGames
• Time Bandits (Hi Nate!)
• Commando
• Lethal Weapon

Instead of trying to re-invent the wheel, how about coming up with something original for once?  Sequels are fine but like everything else in life, everything's better in moderation.*



*Except "Rambo 5", which I clearly plan on seeing with a stick of butter in my hand and my pants around my ankles.

Opening Morning?

Eat a dick, Bud.

That's all I have to say to the esteemed baseball commissioner after the latest debacle to hit his sport (no, not the Mets but I'll mention them in a few).

For some reason, the Milwaukee powers (I'm including him and his wig as two people) that be thought it would be a great idea to start the regular season A) while spring training was still going on, B) in Tokyo, and C) in the middle of the fucking night of the fanbases.

You don't see this in any other major sport. Look at the NFL. You have that Thursday night game (which I hate btw) that stands alone before the other games on Sunday. The NBA started on Christmas. All for the same reason: when the season starts, THE SEASON FUCKING STARTS.  All exhibition games should be done. And not only that, but when the Mariners and A's are stateside again, they go BACK to playing Cactus League games. Are you fucking kidding me?

Here's my second point: I'm not a fan of major sports playing outside North America. What's the point? Do I need to see MLB in Japan or the NFL in England?  WHY? They're not going to be opening up shop there so what's the point? And with Bud Selig, the answer is always the same: $.

And speaking of $$$$$, you don't think the A's wouldn't mind getting the receipts for an Opening Day game? It's the one game that everyone sells out. You don't think the Coliseum employees would like to get paid for another day? Last I checked, the economy could use a bit of help and Oakland could use the boosted attendance.

Which leads me to my third point: if you're going to schedule a game outside of either fanbase's timezone, do it when the fans can watch.  It was 3 a.m. in Seattle and Oakland when the game started. Outside of the lazy hippies and gangbangers in those cities, no one was up at that time to watch the game.


If I'm Bud Selig, I would be more concerned with the fact that you just had to save a franchise in LA while the same problem is happening to his buddy in New York. He has has much bigger fish to fry than making sure Ichiro gets a hero's welcome in Japan.

Fix your sport and stop playing favorites, you toupee-wearing, sausage racing, clueless fuck.

But nooooooooooooooooo

I was going to comment on the latest Mets news, but I decided to leave it to those who do it better.

Instead, I'm going in a different direction. After just re-reading the outstanding 2002 history of "Saturday Night Live", it made me wonder who would make up my Mount Rushmore of SNL performers.





1. Eddie Murphy. A no-brainer. The absolute best all-around performer in the history of the show. Mr. Robinson, Gumby, Buckwheat, Velvet Jones, the list goes on and on.

2. John Belushi. I have to pay tribute to the original cast and with all due respect to Dan Aykroyd, I'm going with Belushi. From the Samurai to Joe Cocker to The Godfather, Belushi was amazing.

3. Dana Carvey. I don't think he ever got credit for what he brought to the show in the mid-80s renaissance. The Church Lady, Bush, Hans, Garth, etc... Carvey was the MVP of an amazing ensemble.

4. Will Ferrell. I could have gone in a couple different directions here but I felt like honoring one from each era, and who better from the late 90s/early 00s than Ferrell? Great enough to have two "Best of" DVDs.

There's my list. What say you guys?

A Tale of Two Pities

Gary Carter really was a decent human being. Why does it seem like he was the only one from that 1986 team?


I would never call what happened to Lenny Dykstra a tragedy because he made his own choices, but I can't fathom how ANOTHER '86 Met just couldn't get his shit together. Dykstra joins the list of Gooden, Strawberry, Mitchell, Backman, and Ojeda...hell, even Davey Johnson was blackballed from the game and he was (relatively) clean.

What is it about that '86 squad that wound up producing that bunch of drug users, tax cheats, wife beaters, et al? I'm not naive enough to think they were the ONLY guys getting into trouble but that '86 stigma is so bad, that it scared the Wilpons from acknowledging it for years.

It's ironic that as we say goodbye to one iconic Met, we shake our heads yet again at another one.

YOU'RE GONNA CALL WHO?!

I don’t blame Bill Murray for turning down Ghostbusters III. Why ruin the legacy of the first movie if the script isn’t up to par? More often than not, a sequel is nothing more than a simple cash grab and doesn’t have the fun, excitement, or feel of the original.  For every “Godfather Part II” you get “Caddyshack II” or dare I say it, “Rocky V”.

Ackroyd of all people should know what happens when you greenlight a sequel without the main cast returning. You can't make a fucking Blues Brothers sequel when one dies and you sure as hell can't make a Ghostbusters sequel without Peter Venkman. 


I have no problem with a Ghostbusters sequel if you pair them up with let's say four younger comic actors. Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Seth Rogen, and Craig Robinson, for example.  You put those four with the returning Ghostbusters and I'd see it.  You put out a Murray-less movie and all the wit & charm is gone.


Between the Star Wars prequels and the fourth Indiana Jones movie, it's pretty clear that older movies should just stay cherished and not tinkered with. If you're gonna do it, do it right or don't do it at all.

Drop Dead, Fred

After the latest Fred Wilpon PR disaster, I’ve decided that another Fred should be running the team.  No, not me but here’s a list of other Freds I’d rather see running my beloved Metropolitans. Bonus points to anyone who can name all these references w/o using Google.

Freddy Benson

Freddy Shoop

Fred Sanford

Freddy Fernandez

Fred Garvin

Fred Flintstone

Fred Jones

Fred Mertz

Frederick Crane

Fred Palowakski