Thursday, February 2, 2012

Say it ain't so, Sly

Here's one of my favorite scenes from 2010's "The Expendables":


That's how an action movie should be - loud, violent, and in your face.  Yet when you Google "The Expendables 2," you find this nugget of shit:

The Expendables 2 will be PG-13

Are you fucking kidding me?  You're making an action movie with THOSE guys and it's not meant for the audience who grew up watching them in their prime?  What's the point of having Sly, Bruce, and Arnold in the same movie if you've basically reduced it to a Channing Tatum or Shia LaBeouf circle jerk?

And what the fuck is a Channing Tatum anyway? Sounds like something a GI got in Korea when he fucked a nine-toed whore.

But I digress. The idea of "The Expendables" was Stallone's homage to the movies he made in the 80s and save for a few plot points that could have been tighter, it was a fun movie.  It was made for the fanboys from the 80s. Limbs were flying everywhere, bones were being broken, a yappy broad got waterboarded, it was a GUYS action movie.

I understand why the studio wants to make it PG-13. It's a business and you want to make money, I get that.  But you're taking about an R-rated movie that had a budget of $80M and made $274M worldwide.  If it ain't broke, DON'T FUCKING FIX IT.

I'm really hoping this is just a rumor and that Stallone will come around and make this the hard R it really should be. 

3 comments:

  1. Points awarded for "nugget of shit" and "Channing tatum." Although I think Shia LaBeouf is a replacement for that same disease. Seriously, what the fuck is a Shia LaBeouf? Sounds like a nugget of shit to me.

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  2. I know nothing about this movie but I loved the nugget of shit line too!

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  3. The Passion of The Christ made mega-millions and it was rated R. Stallone is your Messiah. You should do all you can to make Expendables 2 the new top-grossing R-rated film.

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