Monday, February 27, 2012

Braun's Balls

OK time to weigh in on the Ryan Braun situation. To me, it sounds like a lot like getting pulled over for going 90 MPH but the radar gun was off. You challenge it in court and get off on a technicality.  Here's the thing - it doesn’t mean you didn’t do it, it means you found a loophole in the system. I think that’s what happened with Braun.

Rules are rules. If the chain of custody was broken, then by all means overturn the suspension, but let's not forget Braun's test contained an incredibly high amount of testosterone. It was also revealed during his hearing that no one had tampered with Braun's sample. Why would they? How could they? Why would MLB be after one of their marketable stars? What's their motive to see him out for 50 games?  Why would the Milwaukee-based collector want to see the Brewers' best player suspended?  Are we supposed to believe that some mook just happened to have synthetic testosterone lying around in his house in case Ryan Braun’s piss was stored in his freezer?  Gimme a break.

Braun’s arrogance is sickening. YOU ARE NOT THE VICTIM HERE.  You got lucky because of a delivery error, don’t act like you’re Andy Dufresne screaming at the warden.

Shut your mouth and thank Yahweh you’re not sitting out 50 games.

And eat a dick, MLB. THIS is your drug program? A loophole because FedEx was closed? Bud Selig is a joke. Fuck him, fuck his Brewers, and fuck Braun.

Thank you.


  1. Braun has balls all right. Unfortunately for him, they're very tiny and shrinking by the moment. Except he would have no clue why they're shriveling at such a rapid rate. Right, Ryan?

  2. MLB should be embarrassed for not making sure there wasn't such an obvious loophole in the drug testing program. I'm guessing there's a 3rd party testing group that should feel the same (and I don't mean FedEx). And that's not to say Braun went and intentionally went for the loophole.

    But I was discussing this with my father the other night (he was telling me the details of the appeal which I hadn't yet heard). These results are supposed to remain anonymous (I guess until the mere fact that you've been suspended becomes official). Appeals, if so desired, should be kept hush-hush until the suspension becomes official. It's not to say that hush-hush would have kept MLB from the embarrassment, but it would have kept Braun, who technically is not in trouble, from having his good name smeared in shit.

  3. It reminded me of the leaked results of the 2003 tests. If I'm in the MLBPA, I want heads to swing for any of this being made public.

    That being said, technically Braun didn't do anything wrong but this looks awful, especially for the reigning MVP.

  4. it's probably the worst thing that can happen to MLB, PR-wise, with the worst player that it could have happened to (being the MVP).

    there should also be a secondary test immediately upon filing an appeal that may or may not need to be used.