GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

Well Terry Collins predicted the Mets would be sluggish after last night's loss to the Yankees... and his team backed up his words by spraying hot liquid diarrhea all over Wrigley Field tonight (a reversal for the home fans, since they've rooted for dog shit since the 1870s) in a sloppy 6-1 loss.

Sloppy isn't even the right word. Ugly, lazy, disrespectful, pretty much everything Mrs. Bender said to Mr. Bender, according to their son John. Go to the two minute mark here.

Not one but TWO three-base errors in the same inning. One is rare but two? Unheard of and there's no excuse for it, especially not the one of having to play Sunday Night Baseball.

TC - I like you, I think you're a good guy even if you don't bring in Byrdak to face Cano and leave Miguel Fucking Batista in for multiple innings, but I can't defend what you said. It's YOUR job to prepare your team for every game. When you predict a sluggish game and it happens, that's on you, little man.

Plenty of teams play Sunday Night Baseball and don't shit the bed the next night.

Three errors and the offense makes Travis Wood look like Wilbur Wood. In a fucking Johan start. Against the Cubs, a team that will probably lose 100 games this year.

This had "gimme" written all over it but I never thought it would have been for the Cubbies. Fucking garbage.

But nooooooooooooooooooooooo

I've been trying to come up with the right words for what happened last night with Johan Santana and the Mets.

I wrote earlier in the week how I've been spoiled with other sports. You can call me a dick, but I know how to react to my team winning the Super Bowl, Stanley Cup, and at one time, the World Series. But I have no idea how to react to a no-hitter by the Mets. Over 8,000 games and a pitching lineage of Seaver, Koosman, Gooden, Cone, Pedro, and it never happened.  It's fitting that someone of Santana's caliber finally got it done. Miguel Batista getting the franchise's first no-hitter just seems wrong but almost expected, given the craziness that has surrounded this team since 1962.

But it happened last night and I still can't believe it. No matter what happens the rest of the season (and who knows what to expect from Johan after a career-high 134 pitches), nothing or no one can take away the experience of finally seeing something I thought would never happen.

Blah-dres

It's always nice when a team that was hitting a robust .220 comes into Citi Field and scores 11 runs and bangs out 18 hits. Petco or not, .220 is still .220 and this is a team that's 28th in average, 29th in runs scored, and DEAD FUCKING LAST in slugging. More proof that the Mets pitching is the common cure for any batting slump.

That said, if SD's ownership ever gave a shit about payroll, they could contend in that division. They have a pretty decent core of Maybin, Alonso, and Headley. Volquez, Bass, and Luebke have the makings of a good rotation. It's a nice start but not enough.

As for the Mets, David Wright had three more hits and is now hitting .405. Suck my dick, Matt Cain.

Three more against the Friars, including Banner Day on Sunday. Nope, not jealous about that at all.

Game 45: Padres 11, Mets 5

Mets 2012 record: 24-21

Niese and Easy

I don't have much for today's rubber game between the Mets and Pirates but mostly because it shouldn't have been a rubber game. It should have been a sweep and I can't get excited for a series the Mets SHOULD have won anyway.

But Niese looked good, pitching into the 8th inning while only giving up 1 run. Oh, and Wright "slumped" to .399... so there's that.

Game 44: Mets 3, Pirates 1
Mets 2012 record: 24-20

SPOILER ALERT!

Hi loyal reader(s), I'm back after a two-week sabbatical. I don't really see myself as a writer so I guess I just had "block."

I don't think I've missed much with my daily Mets recaps, with them going 6-7 during my hiatus. More on them later.

My post tonight is going to deal with my other two teams - the New York Giants and the New Jersey Devils.

It's funny that the team I love the most of the three has been the least successful in terms of championships. The Mets have only won the World Series twice (Pre-Joo in 1969, and of course in 1986) while the Giants have won the Super Bowl four times, and the Devils have skated with the Stanley Cup three times.

What amazes me is not just how many times they've won but WHEN they won. Sure the Mets won in 1986 but I was on the verge of turning 11 and not really getting baseball. The Giants not only won in the 1986 season but also the 1990 season (thanks Norwood), as well as the recent triumphs over the fucking Patriots. The Devils won in 1995 (the lockout really soured me on hockey) and in 2000 and 2003, so you could say my "adult" life has been blessed in terms of football and hockey. Shit, the Devils are two wins away from ANOTHER Stanley Cup finals.

I absolutely feel spoiled when it comes to those two sports. Not that I don't relish the victories but a Mets WS win is going to be that much sweeter if and when it happens again. I don't know much but I know Frank Francisco won't be around when it does. Fuck that guy with Thor's hammer.  And his cock.

Game 43: Mets 3, Pirates 2

Mets 2012 record: 23-20

Two outs? No problem!

Admittedly, I had one eye on the Mets and the other on the Devils-Flyers game. Both wound up having very exciting results.  The Devils won 3-1 to move on to the Eastern Conference Finals where the Mets beat up on yet another Philadelphia team. The Phillies had a quick 4-0 start and I figured this was done early.  Most of the night it was, until the Mets exploded for four two-out runs to tie it in the top of 7th. Some choppy Philly defense led to that 5th tie-breaking run and then Nieuwenhuis and Duda added a pair of RBIs in the 9th to make it 7-4. More than enough for this bullpen. 4 shutout innings last night, another 4 shutout innings tonight. You just never know with these guys but I love that they never quit, no matter who they're playing.

Game 30: Mets 7, Phillies 4

Mets 2012 record: 17-13

PAPEL-BLOWN!

No he didn't blow a save but goddamn that was a nice win tonight.

Jordany Valdespin played the hero role tonight, slamming a pinch hit 3-run HR off Jonathan Papelbon to lead the Mets to a come from behind 5-2 win over the Phillies.

Jon Niese was on the ropes most of the night but the Phillies couldn't put him away, and he left the game after only giving up two runs over five innings. Considering he threw 101 pitches, he's lucky the score wasn't worse.

The bullpen came up huge in a couple of tough spots, including a bases loaded jam when Hunter Pence hit into a routine 6-4-3 interference play. Fuck Victorino and his "who, me?" attitude. You're a dirty, whiny little bitch.

I know it's May but this was a fun win.

Game 29: Mets 5, Phillies 2

Mets 2012 record: 16-13