Boner, Party of One

Fifty years ago tonight, the New York Mets played their very first game. Today was one of their better matchups, with Johan Santana taking on Stephen Strasburg, my Strasboner. 

I wish they weren't limited by pitch counts so early in the season as I would have liked to see what they'd do with the reigns loosened a bit.

Johan threw 99 pitches over 5 plus, giving up 1 run on 5 hits, 3 walks, and 8 Ks.  Strasburg went 6 on 108 pitches, gave up 2 hits, 3 walks, 0 runs, and struck out 9.

The Mets had a chance in the first. 2nd and 3rd with one out, and Boner was a little wild. Of course, Ike and Bay did nothing and Strasburg got even stronger as the game went on.  He was helped out by facing an anemic and jumpy offense. Thole swung at the first pitch in consecutive at bats and had nothing to show for it. 

It just really goes show that as much as the fans shit on Wright, this team is completely different without him in the lineup, especially when Ike and Bay can’t hit water if they fall out of a fucking boat.  Especially Bay. He sucks the sweat off a dead guy's dick. Fuck him.

Game 6: Nationals 4, Mets 0

Mets 2012 record: 4-2

FOUR FUCKING DAYS??

Really, baseball gods, you could only give us four days to smile? It was revealed tonight that David Wright has a small fracture in the middle joint of his right pinky. It won’t require surgery (yet) but I’m fully expecting him to have arm transplant surgery by the end of the week.

And that other shoe? It dropped tonight just like the Mets defense.  Daniel Murphy and Lucas Duda misplayed routine plays, leading to three Washington runs.  The lineup, already missing Wright and Ike Davis, did two things against Ross F. Detwiler: jack and shit.

Hey Jason Bay, fuck off.  Go curling or some shit. Go stick your dick in a maple tree. Just leave the game of baseball to those who can still play it. Way to come up huge when two big bats are out of the lineup.

I said at the beginning of the season that for the Mets to even sniff 81 wins, they’d need to have everything break right. I wasn’t really expecting something of Wright’s to break. 

Looking forward to Johan vs. The Boner tomorrow.

Game 5: Nationals 6, Mets 2

Mets 2012 record: 4-1

Oh, Murph!

Again, it's early but it's fun to watch the Mets, especially after tonight's walk-off 4-3 win.

The lineup is still scoring runs despite getting NOTHING from Ike and Bay and it doesn't even matter right now. I can even overlook the 2-11 with RISP and 10 more LOB tonight.

Murphy and Wright are off to torrid starts, with Murph off to a .389 start (including tonight's game winner) and Wright a sizzling .583.

My blogging bud-Dee over at Metscellaneous.com mentioned something about finally breaking up Reyes and Wright and she might be on to something here. This is finally Wright's team and maybe he has something to prove. Piazza, Delgado, Beltran, and Reyes are all gone. This is HIS team and he seems to be leading by example so far.

Three more scoreless innings from the pen. I just hope they don't peak early because these starters aren't going deep into games.

With such low expectations, the Mets really couldn't have started any better. I'm loving it so far.

Game 4: Mets 4, Nationals 3

Mets 2012 record: 4-0

Saturday Night Lifeless

What happened to the edgy Saturday Night Live? The show that wasn’t afraid to break the rules and take on all authority, regardless of political party?

I only ask because they never tweak Obama at all, except for a shitty Fred Armisen impression and even then, he plays the straight role surrounded by a bunch of buffoons. I’m not expecting or wanting an Amos n Andy “looky here” routine but show some fucking balls and make fun of the guy in charge if and when it’s warranted.

SNL has no problem lampooning Romney, Gingrich, Santorum, and to a degree, Biden. And rightfully so since anyone in the public eye is fair game for satire and those provide plenty of ammo. But if you’re gonna bust balls, do it across the board. Don’t just cherry pick who you attack for political reasons. This isn’t a political gripe, since I think EVERYONE is ripe for some jokes. Obama, Hillary, Biden, Romney, Palin, everyone. 

Satire is satire, comedy is comedy, don’t hold back because you’re afraid to ruffle some feathers.

A Very Niese Day

On a day when it seemed like we'd see history, we had to settle for a season opening sweep of the Braves.

Jon Niese, he of the recently signed contract extension and more importantly, the identical twin of Sollywood's own Fred Solomon, carried a no-hitter into the 7th before Freddie Freeman broke it up with a clean single to right. So once again, Freddy's worst enemy is Freddie.

Solid day by the offense. Tejada, Murphy, and Wright combined for 7 hits and 5 RBI. Davis is still struggling out of the gate but if he and Bay can start to hit, this becomes a very dangerous lineup.

Back to Niese. He was absolutely locked in today before the wheels came off in the 7th. While he gets most of the credit for today's performance, I can't help but wonder if he was willed to victory by two of the founding members of the Jonathon Joseph Niese Fan Club: Ed Leyro and Taryn Cooper.

Happy Niester!

Game 3: Mets 7, Braves 5

Mets 2012 record: 3-0

Zippity Duda

It's still early.

That's what I'm telling myself after two games but that being said, I like what I see so far from the Mets. Two HRs from Lucas Duda, one from David Wright, and more importantly, three more scoreless innings from the bullpen.

And not for nothing but if Kirk Nieuwenhuis keeps hitting, he just Wally Pipp'd Andres Torres. That's fine by me since I'm always in favor of 4th OFs being just that, not leading off and playing CF.

Another day, another small army left on base. Twelve today, to go with the eight left on in Thursday's game.

Oh - and that's a series win. Suck my dick, Mikey.

Game 2: Mets 4, Braves 2

Mets 2012 record: 2-0

Opening Daze

This was a very bizarre and bittersweet day for me. I was happy to have baseball back but it was surreal to know that this was my first Opening Day without my mom. As I alluded to in my very first Sollywood post, baseball was the common thread I had with my mom, no matter what. She would have loved today’s game. She always favored a close well-pitched game over a 10-9 slugfest.

As for the game, you have to be happy with Johan Santana. His first major league game since September 2010 and outside of a minor hiccup in the 5^th when he walked the 8^th and 9^th hitters, he looked solid. Five innings pitched, two hits, two walks, and five Ks. The bullpen was excellent, pitching four innings and only giving up two hits, one walk, while striking out three.

Not in love with the amount of runners left on base today but a win is a win and given the fact that I don’t expect the Mets to get a lot of those this year, I’ll take it.

Game 1: Mets 1, Braves 0

Mets 2012 record: 1-0

PS - If you work with me and are reading this (chances are you don't and you're not), that's why I was wearing black today.